Year 10 English Show Don’t Tell Exercises:

In each of the following replace the description with a paragraph in which you use the characters’ actions and words to convey the same message:

1. The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.

A girl was staring up at a tree, teardrops running down the side of her face. She knew she would never get back the one thing that she long for; that had made her so previously happy, her kite. Before she could completely collapse in her sorrows, her saviour came along. As he walked down the street people smiled and cheered. “ I will get it,” he said with a charming smooth voice. He only had to reach up to grab the kite, and he gave it to the little girl, who was jumping up and down. Everyone in the street cheered as the man brought glee to the town.

2. The wizard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of him. He enjoyed threatening them, especially the children. He was cruel and greedy.

I was walking down the street as I saw a rush of school children, running, crying and screaming. It was a disaster suddenly everyone was running around me a cluster or chaos and despair. Then I saw him, his face was teaming with horror. He had a devilish and cunning smirk on is face that played with your mind. He walked with a stance that was heavy and thudded on the ground and it sent a shiver up my spine. The children were running around trying to find their parents. Everything was a mess there were cars stopped in the middle of the street with broken glass and people robbing stores.

3. The Knight was arrogant and greedy. He did not want to help others. He only wanted to be viewed as the most handsome and talented warrior in the land.

The knight stared into the mirror and admired himself in his shiny, expensive armour suit. People were following him asking him to help them as he walked down the hallways of the castle, but he ignored everyone in his path. He was flinging around his sword and tensing his muscles.

4. The peasants were kind and helpful. They were hard working and honest people. They were scared to drawing the attention of the wizard.

The peasants would work in the fields all day and provide food for everyone else in the town. They would run errands and do all kinds of jobs for people for free. The peasants would never complain, because if they did the wizard would punish them for complaining and the peasants did not want this. When the wizard would walk around the fields looking for someone who wasn't doing the work effectively he would grab them and beat them with his stick that he carried around. All the peasants kept working even though they were watching their friend getting punished but they just kept working so that they wouldn't draw the attention of the wizard.

Using Your Senses to Write:

Situation to re-write: It was time for breakfast. Sense: Smell/Taste

I could hear the crackling and popping of the bacon as it was moved on to the plate, from the bubbly, oily frying pan. I could smell the wonderful taste and I knew it was no good for me, but I had to have it. My mouth was salivating as I waited for mum’s most precious voice to say breakfast was ready, but I couldn’t bear the wait. I rushed down the stairs and saw the runny egg yolk and the crispy crunch of the bacon. I could smell the fat and oil lingering of the bacon and the sweet memorizing smell of the eggs. I dipped a piece of the bacon into the runny golden egg yolk, and plunged it in to my mouth. I could taste a million tastes all making my senses to crazy. The crunch of the bacon completely and utterly complemented, the soft fluffiness of the runny egg yolk, I had to have more.

Situation to re-write: It was a dark and stormy night Sense: Hear

I was in bed all alone, then suddenly I heard the crack of thunder and lighting that followed, it pierced through my ears and in to me, as my whole body shivered. Followed by that I heard the howling and growling of the wind, like a wolf was out there calling for me. I wrapped myself up in my blanket and lied there, terrified for whatever sound was coming next. The thunder made my whole bed move as I covered my ears unable to bear any more sounds.

Situation to re-write: She cuddled up to her teddy bear Sense: Touch/Feel

I had been looking for my teddy bear all night, then finally, I found it, it was under the bed I picked it up and pressed it against my chest and squeezed it as tight as I could. I could feel the soft fluffy fur that surrounded it and the way it touched my skin, it made me get goose bumps of happiness. I could feel the soft marshy hollow space inside the teddy bear and I squeezed it tighter.

Situation to re-write: They were walking down the street in the city Sense: Sight

I was walking down the street in New York City, overwhelmed by all the lights and signs that surrounded me. The flickering lights advertising various products drew me in and made me feel apart of something. My eyes were amazed by the vast contrasts in the light and I had to blink to make sure it was real. I had never seen anything like this before, I was astonished, I wondered how people could just walk past and not be amazed by this light of wonder.